Panty Slinging
by RedEyedOreos123
Summary: What happens when Claude accidently eats Alois' booty sorts and they have a play date with Ciel and his butler, who was forced to dress to impress? Crack parody, very ooc, and slight Claude/Sebastianyaoi towards the end. If you don't like these things, don't read! Thanks!


**Okay, I don't own any of the characters. This is just a parody that some how took over my body and forced me to type. It's alitt- you know what, ITS ALL OOC, OKAY! Read and review if you don't feel slightly disturbed(it's a side effect) by reading this! Thanks!**

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**One fine day at the Trancy Manor...**

"Claude! Where are my booty shorts?" Alois screeched angrily at the stone he called a butler.

"I ate them….***belch*"** Claude replied as he stared at the wall imagining his enemy, Sebastian Michaelis, naked-** 'WAIT A MINUTE!'** Claude nearly puked at the thought of his enemy in his birth day suit.

"Why! Ciel Phantomhive is coming over in five minutes and I don't anything sexy to wear because you ate my lucky booty shorts!" Alois was furious as he dug through the piles and piles of thongs and corsets. One of the purple thongs hit Claude in face and was hooked on his glasses.

"Why not wear these with a matching pair of heels and a corset?" the stoned butler suggested, stretching the under garment at its full size.** 'I wonder what Sebastian would look like in these.'** He thought, smirking as the memory of seeing his enemy's true form. He wore boots that had heels bigger than…well, Hannah's penis! Alois noticed his butler wore a rape face and whipped the lace thong hard on the spider demon's face to wake him out of his day dream.

"Quite doing that, it makes you look like a whore!" he growled.

**Meanwhile...in the Phantomhive carriage….**

Ciel couldn't help but laugh at the sight before him. His multi-talented, handsome, cunning butler, Sebastian, sat with a large pout on the opposite bench. He wore nothing but his designer heels from his true form, a leather corset, matching gloves, a pair of black cat ears, and black lace thongs. Sebastian's face grew redder every time another carriage passed by and people saw the butler in such humiliating attire.

"Young Master, tell me why exactly did you order me to dress like **THIS."** The crow kept his voice dangerously calm as he talked, otherwise, he would've thrown the little midget across from him into the lake they were passing over.

"Because, you hid cats in my closet again and then stole my cane to use it as a stripper pole to dance for Bard on." Ciel reminded nonchalantly, still grinning like an idiot.

"I have the catnip tequila to blame, thus it was suppose to save me from these…consequences." He argued, the pout revealing the black lipstick Maylene had put on him along with mascara, eyeliner, eyes shadow, and blush. He smelled, looked, and felt like a whore.** 'This is most unpleasant.'** He rolled his eyes as he thought sarcastically. The carriage came to a halt and Ciel's grin got even wider. This meant they were there. The minute his young master stepped out of the carriage, he was attacked by his polar opposite and arch-enemy.

**"OH CIEEELLLL~!"** Alois chanted as he threw himself onto the poor slate-haired child.

"Hello, Alois." Ciel greeted in his usual sulky mood. Sebastian tried his best not to blush when he saw Claude walk out from behind the door wearing nothing but an **EXTREMELY** tight pair **Speedos**. Sure it was embarrassing but at least Claude still had his dignity…unlike Sebastian, who practically trembled in his fishnets.

"It's so good to see you, Ciel! **CLAUDE GO PLAY WITH SEBASTIAN NOW!"** he barked at the manly butler,"Nice boots Sebastian!"

"How are you, Sebastian?" Claude spoke up once the boys were out of hearing rage.

**"I'M FABULOUS, CLAUDE!"** Sebastian snapped, his makeup getting runny.

"Are you sure?"

**"ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE! THESE BOOTS ARE KILLING MY FEET, THE THONG FEELS ITCHY, BUT IT'S OKAY THOUGH BECAUSE THE CORSET'S CHAFFING MY ASS!"** Sebastian reminded Claude of a woman on her…monthly. **'Damn, who knew Sebastian had that big of an ass!'** he thought as Sebastian turned around and began pacing.

"So…where'd you get the fishnets?" he decided small talk would work.

"Claire's, I got them on sale for 12 bucks. Why?" Sebastian glared," Don't tell me you're jealous of them. I know I'm better than you at everything and you hate me for it, but its fishnets. Yes, they're sexy but not that good looking on you."

"I didn't say I liked them, Sebastian. But what I will say is that you look damn** fuckable** in that outfit." Claude grinned mischievously. He held up the purple thong he stole from Alois' room up and flung it towards the smaller butler.

"Oh, it's on **bitch**!" Sebastian growled as he took the extra thong he had brought just in case the one he was wearing ripped. Got to be prepared in case it can't handle all that ass, you know! He twirled it gracefully on his index finger and slapped Claude on the crotch with it.

"I'll beat you at this, Sebastian."

"What makes you say that?"

**"I ate my master's magic booty shorts!"** Claude gloated as he dodged another panty fling from his enemy. Sebastian froze with wide eyes in fear.

**"NO! ANYTHING BUT THE ALMIGHTY POWERFUL BOOTY SHORTS!"** Sebastian cried.

**"FALCON THONG!"** Claude bellowed his battle cry. A loud rip resounded through the **Main Foyer**. Now all Claude could see was… dicks. Sebastian's dick, to be exact.

"…..excuse me…" Sebastian sniffled in embarrassment as he tried to cover his junk. Claude tore off his Speedo and tossed Sebastian into his bedroom. There, they had lots and lots of **FUN!**

** FIN~!**

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**I have no clue why I did this...and lets all play it safe and pretend this NEVER HAPPENED! Bye bye~**


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